Monday, March 11, 2013

The Oubliette


It had been 8 years since Danita had seen the sun. Now, just a short distance away she could walk through the grates of her prison a free woman.  The Spanish-iron gates that were leading out to the stone hedge wall dared her to go beyond them, and yet, she just stood there looking out. She was frozen with the mistrust and fear that had been beaten into her over the years.  Would the world remember her, what she was or what she had become?

She remembered very clearly what led her to the Oubliette where she was imprisoned all these years.  The magistrates told her they took pity on her and therefore instead of death her sentence was to be closed off to all.  She remembered her father and mother crying.  As she stood before the magistrate’s plain faced without any emotion, she prayed that their oath to God would supersede the queen’s order but it had not. She was definitely not prepared for such isolation and after a few months of imprisonment she began to beg the angel of death to visit. But not even he did.  

 She had followed orders given to her by the queen’s niece Joanna.  She was Joanna’s lady in waiting and she did as she was told. Queen Isabella was a harsh queen, although her people didn’t quite know the lengths in which she took to maintain her crown.  But, she did.  She had killed to help Lady Joanna but later found out that it was all in vain.  Queen Isabella still reigned and she was forever a traitor to the throne.
The guard shoved her forward, “what are you waiting for wench? Do you want one last beating or maybe one last sticking” The bile rose up from her empty stomach.  Broken she stumbled through the gate into the sun.   

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9 comments:

  1. That is dark in deed. I hope you decide to work more on this story because you've left us with so many unanswered questions.

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  2. Imprisoned for so long for following orders? My heart breaks for Danita. I hope too you write more. This is the start of a great story.

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  3. Such depth of emotion here. The isolation and mistrust...how heartwrenching. This was an amazing 300(+8) words. :)

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  4. I like the way you laid a path for a new story. With both emotion and a little backstory, I already feel sympathy for her and want to know what will become of her. Well done, Tai!

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  5. Wow, what a powerful scene, Tai! And great use of the gate within the scene!

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  6. That's an emotional scene and can't wait to read more of it.

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  7. great start for a new story. like it, although very dark!

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  8. Wonderful start to a new story! You really showed great depth of emotion.

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  9. Great start to a story and love how you used the pic :D

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