Monday, May 20, 2013

Rising of the Nephilim....WIP

This weeks Tuesday Tales is written to the word prompt: BITE. So I found it appropriate to put a snippet for the earlier part of my work that I haven't shown anyone. The part where Sabrina discovers what she is.  I hope you enjoy and please leave a comment. If you like it share it. And please return to Tuesday Tales for more great works.

As Sabrina walked down the street she felt like she was being followed. She turned around and no one was there.  Sabrina paused for a second, then turned around quickly trying to see if she could catch the person following her. But there was no one there. Feeling silly she continued to walk home. 
As she was passing the first building on her block she heard her friend Freddy calling her from the building. “Hey Sabrina, come here.” She followed his voice to the front of the building. It seemed as if he was on the third floor but that wasn't his apartment.  She couldn’t really see him only here him yelling down to her.

“Which apartment are you in?” Sabrina called out looking up trying to see Freddy.
“On the third floor, 3A, it’s vacant and so cool! Come on, check it out!  It’s so creepy.” 

Sabrina’s curiosity always got the better of her, and although she smelled like the catch of the day and needed a shower desperately, she just couldn’t resist so she went to the third floor.  As the elevator door opened she could see straight across to the apartment door that was slightly opened. She walked over and opened the door all the way.  It was very dark inside but she had no problems seeing, an ability she had since she could remember which she loved. 

As she walked down the hallway that lead further into the apartment she called out to Freddy, but he didn’t answer.  “Okay, come on, I’m gonna go home if you don’t come out and show yourself.” She paused for a moment for Freddy to respond but he didn’t.  
She then walked further down the long hallway to an opening. To the right was the living room and to her left was the eat-in-kitchen. Straight ahead were 2 bedrooms and a bathroom.  The air smelled musty and stale, but she couldn’t really tell if it was her or the apartment. She started to get a tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach, much like earlier in the day. “Freddy this isn’t funny, where are you?” She said as her voice cracked from nerves.   
“I’m in the back bedroom, Sabrina. Come check out what I found.”

She walked to the back bedroom to find him with his back to her looking in the closet. She sighed heavily. “Shit Freddy, this place feels creepy.” She walked up behind him to see what he was looking at. She was a step away from him when he turned around and grabbed her.

It was not Freddy! She was scared and unable to get out of his grip. She tried to scream but couldn’t and  as she squirmed to free herself but his grip just got tighter, finally she found her voice, “You’re not Freddy!  You’re that man from the dock!”  He smiled an evil grin which sent shivers up and down her spine and she felt dizzy from fear as the blood seem to flow from her head.

Her heart was pounding and she was struggling to get away from him.  He pushed her down on the ground and he was mauling at her body. She tried to scream again, but no sound would come out of her mouth which felt so dry as if she had eaten sand.  It was as if she had  become mute. She kept squirming and kicking as he was trying to unfasten his pants and hold her down on the floor at the same time.
This was the exact type of man her father had warned her about. Then she heard a voice from when she was a young child. It was in her mind telling her to, “BITE HARD!”  Her heart was racing and she could feel the predator shoving himself onto her. No, this wasn’t happening she thought to herself closing her eyes as tears welled up and started to seep out down her cheeks. “BITE HIM NOW, BITE HIM HARD!” the voice commanded. She then reached her head to the nearest part of him which was his left shoulder and bit him as hard as she could through his clothes.

He screamed in pain and she felt her teeth enlarge as they sank further into his skin. Then she felt the hot liquid which was his blood coming out. He pushed off of her. A portion of the blood went into her mouth and she felt her chest heave up and down as she began to shake. The room became red and hot as she pulled herself up from the floor.  An urge to rip him apart with her teeth like an animal came over her. 

He was on the other side of the room now holding his shoulder as it bled and without thought Sabrina lunged onto him, sinking her teeth further into him.  Sucking like a starved baby to its mother’s milk. She kept sucking until his screaming started to fade away along with his life. She drank him dry. As his body became lifeless she rolled off of him,she was done.

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And now for your listening enjoyment:


  1. Creepy!
    Well written, really liked the descriptions, gave me a shiver as well.

  2. Like the others said, 'creepy.' Great scene.

  3. Very well written. Creepy and intense.

  4. Wow. That was intense and creepy. You had me on the edge of my seat. Great excerpt.

  5. wow! Very compelling scene. I enjoyed it

  6. OMG! What a scary scene that morphed into a triumph over a rapist!! So well done. I had goosebumps. Very intense and beautifully painted. I felt as if I was her.

  7. Very well written. Like everyone else said, very creepy and intense.

  8. Thank you all for commenting. I truly benefit from all you have to say.


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